I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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