Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
