I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
