Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize