Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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