it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
