I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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