oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize