Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
