They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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