Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
