I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
