it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
