i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is Oprah even human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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