they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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