Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
