I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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