What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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