i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
