DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Please don't give away my fajitas
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