apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
