Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
