ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize