You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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