Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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