I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
