he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
