My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she peed on how many people?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
