I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize