her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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