Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
