i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
