Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it because I queefed?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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