You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
