The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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