do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize