he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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