I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
