he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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