So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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