I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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