I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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