Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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