been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
