Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
