she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
But theres a keg here and me gusta
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
