I wish I could punch you in the face.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
