her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
