We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Houston, we have a blender
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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