Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
