Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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