dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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