This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we're so committed to being not committed
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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