so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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