i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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