I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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