I cut my penus on the lid.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize