Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
