two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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