My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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