Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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