I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
