Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
