I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
