hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
