so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
