Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
